The Ethical Slut, Third Edition: A Practical Guide to Polyamory, Open sale Relationships, online sale and Other Freedoms in Sex and Love online

The Ethical Slut, Third Edition: A Practical Guide to Polyamory, Open sale Relationships, online sale and Other Freedoms in Sex and Love online

The Ethical Slut, Third Edition: A Practical Guide to Polyamory, Open sale Relationships, online sale and Other Freedoms in Sex and Love online
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The classic guide to love, sex, and intimacy beyond the limits of conventional monogamy has been fully updated to reflect today’s modern attitudes and the latest information on nontraditional relationships. 

“One of the most useful relationship books you could ever read, no matter what your lifestyle choices. It’s chock-full of great information about communication, jealousy, asking for what you want, and maintaining a relationship with integrity.”—Annie Sprinkle, PhD, sexologist and author of Dr. Sprinkle’s Spectacular Sex 


For 20 years  The Ethical Slut—widely known as the “Poly Bible”—has dispelled myths and showed curious readers how to maintain a successful polyamorous lifestyle through open communication, emotional honesty, and safer sex practices. The third edition of this timeless guide to the ethics of relationships, communication, and sex has been revised to include:
 
• Interviews with poly millennials (young people who have grown up without the prejudices their elders encountered regarding gender, orientation, sexuality, and relationships)
• Tributes to polyamory pioneers
• Tools for conflict resolution and instructions on how to improve interpersonal dynamics
• New sidebars on topics such as asexuality, sex workers, LGBTQ terminology, and ways polys can connect and thrive
 
The authors also include new content addressing nontraditional relationships beyond the polyamorous paradigm of “more than two”: couples who don''t live together, couples who don''t have sex with each other, nonparallel arrangements, couples with widely divergent sex styles, power disparities, and cross-orientation relationships, while utilizing nonbinary gender language and new terms that have come into common usage since the last edition.

Review

The Ethical Slut is a classic, a book that helped launch the modern non-monogamy movement. Updating a book of such historical significance is no easy task, but The Ethical Slut, Third Edition succeeds beautifully. Where the original broke radical new ground, this edition is more nuanced, a book for a more complex age. In the third edition, we see the wide variety of forms ethical non-monogamy, and indeed human sexual relationships, can take. This new version brings a new focus on consent, talks about the many wonderful and varied ways ethical non-monogamy happens, and shows an appreciation for the vast range of human sexuality. This is The Ethical Slut for a new era, and cements the book’s place as one of the cornerstones of modern non-monogamous thought.”
—Franklin Veaux, More Than Two: A practical guide to ethical polyamory

“In the two decades since the first edition of  The Ethical Slut has been published, polyamory has expanded into a practice that, if not outright mainstream, is at least much more widely accepted and understood. […] The 20th anniversary edition of  The Ethical Slut, has been significantly updated and expanded from its humble debut, including sections to poly pioneers, black poly activism and yes, shifting attitudes towards polyamory within a new generation. They acknowledge that millennials reading the book today will not have been raised in the same context that Hardy and Easton were – before the sexual revolution, when saving oneself for marriage was considered the norm.”
Anna Fitzpatrick, Rolling Stone

About the Author

Janet W. Hardy is the author of more than ten books and the founder of Greenery Press, a now defunct publisher specializing in sexually adventurous books. She has an MFA in creative writing from St. Mary''s College, and swore off monogamy in 1987.

Dossie Easton is a licensed marriage and family therapist specializing in alternative sexualities and relationships, with twenty years of experience counseling open relationships. She is the author of four other books, and has been an ethical slut since 1969.

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4.7 out of 54.7 out of 5
2,769 global ratings

Top reviews from the United States

Rbpercussion
2.0 out of 5 starsVerified Purchase
Recommended for those who know they want polyamory
Reviewed in the United States on June 27, 2019
This book provides an all too rosy and idealistic world of polyamory while glossing over real struggles people face that are usually embedded within decades of life experience. It shakes off these conditionings as if they can just be changed with a little work. As my... See more
This book provides an all too rosy and idealistic world of polyamory while glossing over real struggles people face that are usually embedded within decades of life experience. It shakes off these conditionings as if they can just be changed with a little work. As my headline suggests, this is More aimed towards the one actively pursuing the lifestyle rather than someone considering opening an existing relationship for a current partner or someone who wound up dating a polyamorous person. My harshest synopsis of the book could be summed up by saying "don''t let your partners emotions get in the way of your fun". This isn''t without context though. The book "More Than Two" although pays homage to this text, is by far a more mature and empathetic look at the struggles you might face where as this book is selling dreams as if the work to achieve them isn''t wrought from serious amounts of pain and grief in the process.
111 people found this helpful
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Jess
4.0 out of 5 starsVerified Purchase
Great to read even if you''re not polyamorous
Reviewed in the United States on November 3, 2017
I myself am not polyamorous, and I actually got the book to learn more about jealousy in relationships and how to transcend it. It definitely did that for me, and I''d recommend this book to all people, sluts and non-sluts alike. If nothing else, it will help you open your... See more
I myself am not polyamorous, and I actually got the book to learn more about jealousy in relationships and how to transcend it. It definitely did that for me, and I''d recommend this book to all people, sluts and non-sluts alike. If nothing else, it will help you open your mind to the way that people around you are choosing to live, and maybe even give you ideas on how to create a better relationship. There''s a few things in here that I find questionable or "wrong" - mostly in the way of advice about how to "spice up your relationship", so use common sense, emotional intelligence, and your own moral standpoint as reference to evaluating how you feel about those areas. Great read though, for sure.
153 people found this helpful
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Richard Corey
5.0 out of 5 starsVerified Purchase
Superb content - detailed, practical and real. USEFUL! Could be a college textbook, but readable.
Reviewed in the United States on May 22, 2018
Very informative and useful. The authors really know whereof they speak! They''ve been there and learned from experience. Personal and practical, this book is from the heart. The style is very clear, simple and understandable, not academic, literary or... See more
Very informative and useful. The authors really know whereof they speak! They''ve been there and learned from experience. Personal and practical, this book is from the heart. The style is very clear, simple and understandable, not academic, literary or "shrink-speak".

Amazingly they DEFINE EVERY unusual term they use, and they point out when popular usage has been changing recently, and when some people use the term differently. Few authors manage that. It''s very readable, even by anyone new and clueless like me, so it''s a perfect introduction. But its CONTENT is so detailed and comprehensive that it would be a great college-level textbook, if any college gave courses in how to achieve and maintain marital and deep-relationship bliss.

I recommend it unreservedly for anyone interested in keeping a monogamous or other serious relationship happy and healthy, WHETHER OR NOT either of you are also attracted to others. (And I usually want to ARGUE with authors.) When I''ve discussed ideas from this book that "I wish were not so", experienced poly people just nod or shrug and say "Yeah, it IS like that.")

It''s even readable by old, inhibited sticks-in-the-mud like me! You have to decide whether you could give it to your mother to explain "This lifestyle is not like you think it is!" but the only way the book could be made more accessible to squares would be to sissify some of the language. And I think they made a good choice to call a spade a spade.
71 people found this helpful
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Cody Spencer
5.0 out of 5 starsVerified Purchase
I wish I read this 5 years ago
Reviewed in the United States on September 27, 2018
I read this book and it gave me words to describe what I have been through for the first time. My husband and I opened our relationship up a while back. I wish I could have had this book through that whole time. It really puts everything I have learned about having a... See more
I read this book and it gave me words to describe what I have been through for the first time. My husband and I opened our relationship up a while back. I wish I could have had this book through that whole time. It really puts everything I have learned about having a healthy, open, honest relationship into paper form. It is very much worth the read for anyone understanding the non-monogamous world or is interested in opening their relationship. The section on jealousy everyone should read whether monogamous or not.
56 people found this helpful
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Noah Talon
5.0 out of 5 starsVerified Purchase
A Masterclass on ALL kinds of Human Relationships [MUST READ]
Reviewed in the United States on January 4, 2018
This book should be called, "The Epic Tome of Human Relationships". It''s title can be off-putting for some, but I guarantee the meat of the book is MORE than worth it. Written by two women, the book covers the full spectrum of all human relationships from... See more
This book should be called, "The Epic Tome of Human Relationships". It''s title can be off-putting for some, but I guarantee the meat of the book is MORE than worth it. Written by two women, the book covers the full spectrum of all human relationships from friendships to romances and everything in between. It''s worth noting that while the book encourages self-exploration and self-discovery of one''s own sexuality it also supports those who find themselves to be monogamous.

Truly, it is a book for all Humans.
66 people found this helpful
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Schola Abstract
5.0 out of 5 starsVerified Purchase
This book is everything.
Reviewed in the United States on February 14, 2019
This book has such good relationship advice for anyone regardless of how open or closed they want their relationship to be. From communication to intimacy to agreements, this book has it all. My romantic life has benefitted so much from learning and using strategies from... See more
This book has such good relationship advice for anyone regardless of how open or closed they want their relationship to be. From communication to intimacy to agreements, this book has it all. My romantic life has benefitted so much from learning and using strategies from this book and I''ve passed it along to so many other couples who have had a similar experience. If you''ve been wondering about open and polyamorous relationships but didn''t know where to look, you''re in the right place!
18 people found this helpful
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It's Just Me
5.0 out of 5 starsVerified Purchase
A lot of good advice can be obtained from this book
Reviewed in the United States on May 15, 2018
A lot of good advice can be obtained from this book. The writing style is very "preachy" in my opinion, so you may want to take things with a grain of salt and keep an open mind. I''ve also heard it referred to as "hippy-ish" writing, which I think matches... See more
A lot of good advice can be obtained from this book. The writing style is very "preachy" in my opinion, so you may want to take things with a grain of salt and keep an open mind. I''ve also heard it referred to as "hippy-ish" writing, which I think matches as well. Definitely worth a read though if you''re looking to understand yourself and others around you.
20 people found this helpful
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Taylor Burke
5.0 out of 5 starsVerified Purchase
Great book to encourage intimacy with the people around you
Reviewed in the United States on June 16, 2021
I''m only about a quarter the way through this book but I must say it is a great book. It definitely helps open up a person''s mind to the fact that everyone in the world has experienced deep intimacy with people that they would not consider their mate before. It also points... See more
I''m only about a quarter the way through this book but I must say it is a great book. It definitely helps open up a person''s mind to the fact that everyone in the world has experienced deep intimacy with people that they would not consider their mate before. It also points out that human behavior is more varied and complex than we normally think of when it comes to relationships.

This book focuses on the idea that sex is not just the act of sex but is the intermingling of two or more people in a way that current society discourages.

I can see why some people may dislike this book. The author uses the words and concepts of sex as a way to demonstrate the connection between people that should be explored. I feel like the author does this to desensitize the reader to allow the reader to openly explore the idea of connecting to people on different levels.

If the concept of sex doesn''t offend you beyond reason this book offers a lot of good advice when it comes to overcoming the shame that may come from close relationships.

If sex is an uncomfortable for you then I would suggest while reading, in your mind, change all the occurances of the word sex to intimacy and you will see the value in this book. It even says in the beginning of the book that the word sex in this book is to describe the physical and emotional interpersonal relationships between people.

All in all I think this book is a great guide to help a person open up and become closer to those around them and I hope the negative connotation to the terms polyamorous or sex won''t stop a person from seeing the true value of the studies done by the doctors who wrote this book and the Kinsey Institute.

I hope to learn more about the psychology and relationship studies viewed through actual observation studies and not the bias lens of our current christian based system.
4 people found this helpful
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Top reviews from other countries

Lauren-Becki
5.0 out of 5 starsVerified Purchase
Poly
Reviewed in the United Kingdom on July 15, 2018
If you''re not entirely convinced by monogamy I''d suggest giving this book a read, it gives a pretty knowledgeable insight into different relationship models. I really liked this one, it''s very non-judgemental of non-monogamous types as it''s actually written by people who...See more
If you''re not entirely convinced by monogamy I''d suggest giving this book a read, it gives a pretty knowledgeable insight into different relationship models. I really liked this one, it''s very non-judgemental of non-monogamous types as it''s actually written by people who have polyam lifestyles. It''s highly recommended in my circles
8 people found this helpful
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T. Ida
5.0 out of 5 starsVerified Purchase
Fantastic relationship guide, suitable for all
Reviewed in the United Kingdom on February 7, 2021
Even if you are strictly monogamous, there is a lot of useful guidance and advice here - some problems may be *exaggerated* in poly relationships, but the problems are common to all, and this is a great "instruction manual" for them.
2 people found this helpful
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TP EGAR
5.0 out of 5 starsVerified Purchase
True Wisdom
Reviewed in the United Kingdom on February 22, 2021
An absolutely fantastic book for those of us who know we are not mainstream people. Not just a book full of information and knowledge. But true wisdom. If you are thinking about, or indeed living a polyamorous life, this book is a bible!
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talking in my sleep
5.0 out of 5 starsVerified Purchase
You need to read this!!!
Reviewed in the United Kingdom on March 25, 2019
Such an informative, well written and educational book, on a very important topic! I recommend everyone read this book so that they have at least some positive information on the subject.
4 people found this helpful
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Mathieu Comarmond
5.0 out of 5 starsVerified Purchase
Amazing
Reviewed in the United Kingdom on August 26, 2020
My gf loves the book. Can''t wait to read it after her.
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The Ethical Slut, Third Edition: A Practical Guide to Polyamory, Open sale Relationships, online sale and Other Freedoms in Sex and Love online

The Ethical Slut, Third Edition: A Practical Guide to Polyamory, Open sale Relationships, online sale and Other Freedoms in Sex and Love online

The Ethical Slut, Third Edition: A Practical Guide to Polyamory, Open sale Relationships, online sale and Other Freedoms in Sex and Love online

The Ethical Slut, Third Edition: A Practical Guide to Polyamory, Open sale Relationships, online sale and Other Freedoms in Sex and Love online

The Ethical Slut, Third Edition: A Practical Guide to Polyamory, Open sale Relationships, online sale and Other Freedoms in Sex and Love online

The Ethical Slut, Third Edition: A Practical Guide to Polyamory, Open sale Relationships, online sale and Other Freedoms in Sex and Love online

The Ethical Slut, Third Edition: A Practical Guide to Polyamory, Open sale Relationships, online sale and Other Freedoms in Sex and Love online

The Ethical Slut, Third Edition: A Practical Guide to Polyamory, Open sale Relationships, online sale and Other Freedoms in Sex and Love online

The Ethical Slut, Third Edition: A Practical Guide to Polyamory, Open sale Relationships, online sale and Other Freedoms in Sex and Love online

The Ethical Slut, Third Edition: A Practical Guide to Polyamory, Open sale Relationships, online sale and Other Freedoms in Sex and Love online

The Ethical Slut, Third Edition: A Practical Guide to Polyamory, Open sale Relationships, online sale and Other Freedoms in Sex and Love online

The Ethical Slut, Third Edition: A Practical Guide to Polyamory, Open sale Relationships, online sale and Other Freedoms in Sex and Love online

The Ethical Slut, Third Edition: A Practical Guide to Polyamory, Open sale Relationships, online sale and Other Freedoms in Sex and Love online

The Ethical Slut, Third Edition: A Practical Guide to Polyamory, Open sale Relationships, online sale and Other Freedoms in Sex and Love online

The Ethical Slut, Third Edition: A Practical Guide to Polyamory, Open sale Relationships, online sale and Other Freedoms in Sex and Love online

The Ethical Slut, Third Edition: A Practical Guide to Polyamory, Open sale Relationships, online sale and Other Freedoms in Sex and Love online

The Ethical Slut, Third Edition: A Practical Guide to Polyamory, Open sale Relationships, online sale and Other Freedoms in Sex and Love online

The Ethical Slut, Third Edition: A Practical Guide to Polyamory, Open sale Relationships, online sale and Other Freedoms in Sex and Love online

The Ethical Slut, Third Edition: A Practical Guide to Polyamory, Open sale Relationships, online sale and Other Freedoms in Sex and Love online

The Ethical Slut, Third Edition: A Practical Guide to Polyamory, Open sale Relationships, online sale and Other Freedoms in Sex and Love online

The Ethical Slut, Third Edition: A Practical Guide to Polyamory, Open sale Relationships, online sale and Other Freedoms in Sex and Love online